Back to the Bees.

Me and Jinty took a mamoth 420 km round trip excurtion to Middlemarch 'Middle Earth' to see a man about some bees and then to Alexandra to talk to a man about midnight mothing. What a day of charcters.

What started out as an idea for an article ended in an epic pitch idea for the films next week.
Sorry klepto Maurice, your on the back burner now. Big ups to you Mark for the tip off.




I've come back full circle to the bees, but on a much more positve note. This guy Blair is brilliant. He producers organic clover honey from his self owned and operated company, located in an old shed out the back of Middlemarch. Primo spot for an office.



This guy literally oozes passion for his bees and honey. He's like a frame of fresh honey, just lightly break through the exterior wax and the love goo's out. It's infectious. Me and Jinty left feeling as though we had spent a week at a meditation retreat.




The honey boxes and the huge blocks of bees wax all stacked up in the shed smell devine. I wanted to camp out in there.

We opened up some hives in the field without a smoker, Blair says 'You'll be fine if your calm, they can smell fear'. Shit! I try to imagine what fear smells like and try not to emit it.




We leave with an enormous box of honey which i find hard to accept since he has just spent 2 hours saying how hard it is to make a buck these days. So I make a deal in exchange for the pots of pale gold.

We'll be back Blair.

Stuck in the Junk

I just can't leave it alone. Why am I totally obsessed with finding old stuff? It's not really the object; it’s the thrill of finding it, searching for that nostalgic memory.

For example my retro mint green obsession. I saw the most perfect mint green Morris Miner today, I almost cried. I think its something to do with the wanting to live in that time. The present icononic infulences just ain't cutting the mustard for me.

Here is my latest obsession, this fantastic shop 'Dig a deal'. I had a fossick around in there the other day and went back this week to shoot it. Some real gems in there. This could work into my film pitch idea about a crazy kleptomaniac man and his obsession with other people’s junk. No it’s not my alter ego, although I do wonder at times. I just can’t get the junk idea out of my mind. It’s fascinating to see what people think is valuable and what’s viewed as trash.

Now Trade Me for example is hilarious. There are so many strategies and theories on how to sell your items. For example:

A) Don’t place too much value on the item
B) Pretend you have no idea what its worth
C) State that you urgently need to get rid of it.
D) Start with a ridiculously low reserve like $1.


These tactics make the bidder think they have found a bargain; they will meticulously watch that item and then bid to hell on it in the final few minutes. The only reason I can think of is that your trash is always someone’s treasure.
Never doubt that there is someone lying at home awake, wondering how to get their hands on that item.
I have been known to drive all the way to Hamilton just to drool over the possibility of purchasing a mint green Hamilton Beach 3 prong milkshake maker. Final bidding on it was $1400. Lucky them.

Anyhooo I haven’t finished with ‘Dig a Deal’, there’s more to come.

Interior / Exterior.

The caravan is the quintessential kiwi motor home that showed you all those good times over summer. A road trip round the Coromandle peninsula is never complete without your portable indoor-outdoor cruising companion. No need to rough it when you can travel in style with all your home comforts.
It symbolised freedom in the outdoors with a modern advantage. The ability to explore the country with the security of a comfortable camp out.
What I love most about the caravan is its interior, which is usually coloured co-ordinated with the exterior. The 60's-70's retro printed upholstery that matched the Maltica/Formica table tops. With clashing paisley printed curtains to set it all off. With the uniquely designed storage units to fit in all manner of house hold appliances. Wherever you could squeeze in a cupboard or fold out table, your bound to find one. Sadly these iconic travelling homes have become unpopular and are the bane of motorists in a hurry to get places.
I would personally kill to do a doco on the design features of these beauties.

But I have discovered the next generation of indoor/outdoor-personalised living. Behold the ‘Wagon Station’.
When I was in NY I went to the Whitney Museum and saw this fantastic exhibition by Andrea Zittel. She organised a collective of artists to each customise a wagon station (which is usually a small, portable right angled structure), to suit the needs of their desired lifestyle. Each represented an expression of personal freedom. Some wagons had multiple levels or mezzanines with skylights and solar panels. One had cooker stored beneath the floorboards. Zittel joined two separate wagons back-to-back forming a semicircle formation with two separate living spaces resulting in a deluxe, spacious styled wagon.
The wagons were placed in the Joshua tree desert and lived in by the artists or volunteers. Rock climbers climbing in the area or for people wanting a retreat or an alternative work/recreation space.

Zittel’s sculptural works are about transforming everything necessary for life such as eating, sleeping, bathing, and socializing into artful experiments in living. These wagons encompass all those factors expressing a new way of living in a personalised lifestyle. Much the same as what the caravan represented in its glory days.

Natural History Vs High Art Wank

Now there is a place and time for high art wank, like today for example. I just watched 'Drawing Restraint 9' another visual epic from Mathew Barney. Yip this one was the best so far. It was quite indescribable. I will have to act it out for you and elaborate on all the wonderfully texturalised scenes. Plus costuming to kill for with Bjork chucked into the mix.
I came out of the cinema with very little feeling in my body, almost like an out of body experience. That’s my gauge as to whether the film is any good or not. Seems to work.
The only other film I saw from the fest that did this was Michael Gondry's ‘The Science of Sleep’. What A genius idea, the art direction in that was superb. Did i mention how fricken wicked the website is!! Hours of fun and entertainment. My kind of site, ahhhhhh Parallel Synchronized Randomness! Fascinating!!!!


http://wip.warnerbros.com/scienceofsleep/


So how can we merge both natural history and extreme artistic expressionism into a cohesive entertaining unpretentious story? Dwayne suggested doing all the CGI sequences as stop animation. Yeah cool idea Dwayne. How about we make all the background scenes as pop art which pop up. Or re-enact some action sequences with claymation or, and on and on it goes, but how far can you push it before it becomes fiction?

Ok send in your suggestions for an inventive artistic idea. !!!!

A must see next month! Hot bitches, yeah actually ‘Real Hot Bitches’, the fringe fest show!

Birds and the Bees.

This week has been totally devoted to the absorption on honey info. The things I have found out about honey and how we could almost save the world with it is astounding. If only I knew earlier, it would have saved me from losing 12kgs in Cambodia, going grey from the fear of developing dry socket and a helpful handy remedy to a friend with bad gingivitis breath. So where’s my character to drive this honey/bees story.'Where is the stooory' as Richard would say. There could be a possibility of a character in Middlemarch. Need to talk to him and get the scoop. Mavis at the market likes to chat, but I need someone who needs to tell.

Had a very intense interview with my randomly selected research subject. There is a man who is passionate about birds. Even his eyes are as piercing as birds. Need to look into the ways of the Ornithological Society and see what I can uncover for a reserch angle.

Tips not to forget when bird watching.
Tip 1: When waiting to catch a bird, never look them in the eye!
Tip 2: If you aint gonna band it, no point catchin it.


Line of the week: 'I love you but I've chosen darkness'. I can't wait to use that on someone.

Kat Baulu : What about, "Take me to where you cry at night." Does that make it to your top 10 list of best lines?

Afirmatron: 'Ok that by far wins line of the week. I love it. Definately using that one some time soon. You may collect the weekly prize by texting this number 09840980955.